Ok, ok, yes I had a few drinks last night and I was too busy listening to tunes to write a blog post - but I'm here now!!
A cold start to the morning - thank goodness for the sleep in.
Yesterday was a brilliant day - well the morning and afternoon were - forget the grocery shopping in the middle as that is never brilliant!
Yes it was a cold start to the day (but not as cold as Friday morning) as we headed down to Nambucca Heads to a place called Jacks Ridge to do a 10km trail run. I decided it would be good to try out the Camelback hydration pack that mum and dad had kindly given to me back in April.
The track is actually a mountain bike track. Well maintained and a lot of fun. Each part of the trail has a name - we started in the Rollercoaster (you can guess that it was basically up and down hills), then the squashed banana (not sure on that one), others were Lost Luggage, Found Your Suitcase, Boris (big log that you ride/run over), Mechanical Advantage etc. These names made the run a bit more fun because you could discuss what you thought the name was alluding to or how the track would be laid out.
It is a good run for a group that has different paced runners, because the trail goes back on itself numerous times and you can pull of at any time and follow the main road back to the car park.
I had a great time and got warmed up after a while but cooled down quickly once I stopped running. Basically it was a coolish morning but it warmed up to a lovely day.
Yesterday's mantra: Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.
At the moment I'm feeling very pushed. I have things that I "have" to do in order to keep doing something (can't go into great detail here) but it isn't really something I "dream" of doing. I've lost my passion for it and feel cheated that I am now having to do something in order to prove I know what I'm doing and keep doing what I do. This thing has a deadline and it feels very unachievable at the moment and really is stressing me out. I'm trying really hard to focus on positives and tell myself that I will get it done - but am just not feeling it.
I'm also sick of my mindset of self loathing. Which leads into today's mantra: Turn "I wish" into "I will." Instead of wishing I was happy with myself and the hard work I've done so far to get here, turn it into I will be happy or I am happy!!
Also my "I wish I was doing a full marathon" is going to be a "I will do a full marathon" and I am doing a full marathon - as soon as I know which one!!
Tomorrow sees the last post of #blogjune. I will sort of miss it but not enough to continue it as consistently (or inconsistently) as I have been. I think the process of evaluation and reflection are good practices and perhaps it is something I need to do more often especially on my professional life. I'm still struggling to find my mojo in library world but perhaps more reflection is the way to go. We will see how I feel once #blogjune is finished - you may see me pop on here a bit more often.
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