#blogjune Post 28 - It's cold

I don't like the cold!  I think I may have mentioned this before in past blogs.  But I really don't like the cold.

You may ask then, why did I move South instead of North?  Well I ask myself the same question every Winter.  In fact, I think I should head North in Winter and work in Qld for all of Winter, then return down here near the beach for Spring/Summer.

Last year we were lucky enough to have snow up on the Northern Tablelands on a weekend.  So we all hopped in the car and drove up to Armidale.  I had never seen snow.  Neither had Miss A.

We got to the big round about in Armidale where if you turn left you head to Tamworth, and right takes you to Glen Innes.  We had just turned right and a sleet storm started.  We pulled over and jumped out of the car.  Miss A and I were going crazy with excitement.  I was rugged up so I could hardly move.  Hubby was in shorts!!!

We continued North (yes North to the snow not South) to Ben Lomond - which is half way between Armidale and Glen Innes. Black Mountain is there and there was lots of snow on the ground.  We jumped out and started throwing it at each other - well Miss A and I did.  It is quite dry to touch and cold.  But not wet like I thought it would be.  We had lots of fun!

Last night and this morning it is snowing in Guyra which is about an hour and half away from us.  Up past Dorrigo.  Unfortunately, you can't get to Guyra at the moment because the road is closed due to black ice.  If it wasn't closed, I'd probably consider having a "snow day" off work and heading up the mountain!!

Surprisingly, even though it was snowing up on the mountains, it was not that cold here this morning when I headed out at 5.30am for my run.  It was around 9'C.  We warmed up quickly and got straight into our speed session - 2km warm up, 3km rep then 500m recovery, 2km rep 500m recovery, 1km rep 500m recovery, 2km warm down.  Speed sessions never get easier but at least they warm you up!!

Double Post Sunday or I was too busy drinking last night #blogjune #28 and #29

Ok, ok, yes I had a few drinks last night and I was too busy listening to tunes to write a blog post - but I'm here now!!

A cold start to the morning - thank goodness for the sleep in.

Yesterday was a brilliant day - well the morning and afternoon were - forget the grocery shopping in the middle as that is never brilliant!

Yes it was a cold start to the day (but not as cold as Friday morning) as we headed down to Nambucca Heads to a place called Jacks Ridge to do a 10km trail run.  I decided it would be good to try out the Camelback hydration pack that mum and dad had kindly given to me back in April.

The track is actually a mountain bike track.  Well maintained and a lot of fun.  Each part of the trail has a name - we started in the Rollercoaster (you can guess that it was basically up and down hills), then the squashed banana (not sure on that one), others were Lost Luggage, Found Your Suitcase, Boris (big log that you ride/run over), Mechanical Advantage etc.  These names made the run a bit more fun because you could discuss what you thought the name was alluding to or how the track would be laid out.

It is a good run for a group that has different paced runners, because the trail goes back on itself numerous times and you can pull of at any time and follow the main road back to the car park.

I had a great time and got warmed up after a while but cooled down quickly once I stopped running.  Basically it was a coolish morning but it warmed up to a lovely day.

Yesterday's mantra: Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

At the moment I'm feeling very pushed. I have things that I "have" to do in order to keep doing something (can't go into great detail here) but it isn't really something I "dream" of doing.  I've lost my passion for it and feel cheated that I am now having to do something in order to prove I know what I'm doing and keep doing what I do.  This thing has a deadline and it feels very unachievable at the moment and really is stressing me out.  I'm trying really hard to focus on positives and tell myself that I will get it done - but am just not feeling it.

I'm also sick of my mindset of self loathing.  Which leads into today's mantra: Turn "I wish" into "I will."  Instead of wishing I was happy with myself and the hard work I've done so far to get here, turn it into I will be happy or I am happy!!

Also my "I wish I was doing a full marathon" is going to be a "I will do a full marathon" and I am doing a full marathon - as soon as I know which one!!

Tomorrow sees the last post of #blogjune.  I will sort of miss it but not enough to continue it as consistently (or inconsistently) as I have been.  I think the process of evaluation and reflection are good practices and perhaps it is something I need to do more often especially on my professional life.  I'm still struggling to find my mojo in library world but perhaps more reflection is the way to go.  We will see how I feel once #blogjune is finished - you may see me pop on here a bit more often.

Hills, hills and more hills #blogjune #17

Today's mantra: Love yourself enough to work out harder.

Unfortunately, for me I think I do the opposite - work out hard to love yourself!!

This morning saw winter arrive - 5'C and a 5.30am run.  Predictably this meant that not all of our running group showed up, so three of us headed out to the beach for a very cold run.

Up the beach and there was plans for hill repeats.  With our motivational leader, Shelley MIA, some of our group piked out after one hill - but the dedicated one (me - or stupid one) pushed out 4 more hill repeats as the others headed back down the beach never to be seen again!

I then pushed out another 5k at lunch time and unfortunately, the route I follow at lunch has 6 hills.  I thought I was going slow due to my hill work this morning, but I actually did an alright pace.  Am totally buggered now though and bootcamp tomorrow.

But Love yourself enough to work out harder!!!

Something to finish - this is a bit true for me - except for the last image - but the last image is what I'm working on!!

#blogjune Post 18 - It's Just a Quote

This morning it is cold - apparently 6.1'C but I believe it was 5'C when I got up at 6.15am.  No boot camp this morning - thank goodness!!  But tomorrow morning it will be on and it is supposed to be just as cold - I do question my sanity at times!

So because it is so cold, my fingers aren't typing that well so I'm going to fall back on a quote I found in a book I was reading recently.

"Waves rolled out of the steel-grey world to hurl themselves at the shore like battering rams, full of force and fury."

This was from Nora Roberts latest, Whiskey Beach.  I'm a bit of a Nora Roberts fan - so much so that Miss A frequently asks me if I read any books by other authors!!

This quote from the book, resonated with me because I live near the beach and during our East Coast Lows - which we seem to have quite often - the waves do exactly as that quote says.

Although, I imagine a house high on a rocky headland with the waves crashing against the rocks below on a grey miserable day - to be more apt for the quote.

However, at night when you can hear the waves crashing on the beach - you can almost imagine that your house is on a rocky headland and the waves are crashing below.  And if you imagine even harder, that even though it is cold outside, you have a nice warm open fire heating the house up as you lay under big fluffy doonas in blissful sleep.

Ok, in reality we are in a fibro house with no heating (electricity prices are so high here that we can't afford to run a heater), dressed in layers of clothes, sleeping in beds with flannelette sheets and fluffy doonas, trying to stay warm.

That's why I love books - because I can imagine I'm in that house on the rocky headland nice and warm!!

Blog June Post 27 - Rainy Days

I promise not to talk about weather too much but it is a dismal looking day outside with rain and wind.  It's about 12'C so not as cold as other days but the rain and wind make it feel colder.  Today I don't mind the weather because it will make the library feel that more cosy.  I remember many a day seeking refuge in a library when it was cold and wet.  Snuggled up in a quiet corner away from the people dashing around the wet city streets and feeling that wonderful feeling of coziness -which somehow makes the book your are reading all that more good!!

Today I have to do baby bounce since my colleague is on holidays.  It's been a while since I've done baby bounce or storytime and there is quite a large group that comes to our library.  I hope I keep up and give them a good session!!  I suspect if the weather keeps up there may be less of them as it's not baby friendly weather.  There is limited parking near our library so most have to walk a fair way - in this weather, with a pram, I can imagine I'd prefer to stay at home.

The public school teachers are striking here today so I guess we will have a few more kids in the library than usual.  I hope they don't come in all wet as most seem to do when it is raining.  I then have to make sure they sit down on the vinyl chairs rather than material chairs so they don't leave wet seats everywhere.  We had a few in yesterday as some schools must already be on holidays.  We took a few calls from their parents asking us to tell them it was time to go home etc.  The kids are generally well behaved but we did have a few library users comment on our role as babysitters during the holidays.  I don't think we can avoid it.

Holidays start next week and we have illustrator, David Legge coming to the libraries on Tuesday.  This should be an exciting visit.  Last holidays we had author Anna Feinberg and illustrator Sara Davis.  Both sessions were a blast!  I sometimes think I have more fun than the kids.  But with every event we host, there is that moment of shear panic thinking no one will show!!  And sometimes no one does show and sometimes the author/illustrator is precious and has a go at me about my lack of ability to advertise properly to get a crowd, and other times they are very understanding and just thank me for inviting them.  It is just the way it is down here - most times people don't want to commit so won't book and then show up, or will book and don't show up.

Monday we are having a special morning tea for the hanging of a special piece of art.  Each year Bellingen hosts Camp Creative.  This year they had some elders from our local Gumbaynggir tribe assist camp goers in creating an artwork.  This piece is going to be hung in the library foyer.  We though it was appropriate to do this during NAIDOC week.  So the Camp Creative organisers have done a wonderful job at organising everything, including a bush tucker morning tea for invited guests.  The library is really just the host for both the morning tea and art work.  It should be a great morning!!

As far as school holiday activities are going - David is it for my libraries.  Limited staffing resources means I can't really plan any activities.  However, I have a few ideas up my sleave for next holidays.

Well the rain is continuing to fall and it is time to move the washing from the machine to the dryer -  tick tick tick - yep I can see the electricty meter ticking away and dollar signs flashing by - Sigh!!

Blog June Post 21 - Cold Cold I Hate the Cold

For those of you that know me, I may have mentioned on the odd occasion how much I hate the cold. Well for those following my blog, this is only the beginning. Over the next few days I strongly believe you will read how much I hate the cold numerous times.

I know, I know, I've done a previous blog post about this but this morning it was 3.2'C when I woke up. It took me 15 minutes to work myself up to getting out of bed. And you know what the really sad thing is? It is only going to get colder over the next few days!! And small one is having a sleep over Saturday night (her friend is coming here) and that means on Sunday, when it is supposed to be really really cold, I will be up early because they will wake up as soon as they see light! Sigh!

Now when we moved to the coast, I had always believed that on the coast it is always warmer at night. I recall in Qld that if you live on the Sunshine Coast it rarely gets below 10'C at night in winter. Something about the warm air from the ocean. Well, down here it just doesn't work that way. At times it is colder here on the coast then it is slightly inland at Bellingen. I am very disappointed!!

In winter, I thank God everyday that I have excellent heating in the library. I have worked in libraries where heating is not really a thing people thought was important. One memory of working in a library in Ipswich where it was in a very old building and the library was on the ground floor - almost below ground. It was sooo cold!! I remember sitting at the desk with a fan heater under neath and not really showing good customer service because I didn't want to leave the desk.

Other libraries I have worked in have had wind tunnels down particular aisles. Or cold spots. So I am happy to report that Bellingen Library is the warmest place in winter and the coolest place in summer!!

Well, this blog post is not going to be long because my fingers are cold and my warm milo is finished so I have nothing to warm them back up with - I guess I'll be searching for my gloves tonight!! But I am happy to report that I got the Urunga computer to talk to the printer yesterday - just can't get the public computers to do the same. So that was an achievement. And then the tickets for wifi access wouldn't print but I found a work around - double yay! I do believe that my co-workers think I'm nuts after doing a little happy dance once I had worked that one out!!

And the big news is..... pending no one gets sick (touch wood)... that I have worked out a roster to cover staff leave (including mine) over the next few weeks. So at this stage, I am still going to Ipswich and while I thought it might be cold up there - it really is no colder than it is down here - at least it gets warmer as the day goes on - down here we are expecting tops of 16'C/17'C next week - bbbbrrrrrrr!!

Keep warm!!

Blog June Post 12 - Back to It

There is something that makes it a bit harder to go back to work after a long weekend. I think sometimes long weekends cause you to have two Monday's - even though you don't go to work for one of them. Today is cold and rainy again so I wish I was still in bed.

By now you would figure that I hate the cold. I have always hated it for as long as I remember. I think the only time I like the cold is when there is a wood burner/open fire going in the house and it is cosy. But most times you still have to get cold to do something. That's why I hate it - you always have to get cold. You can by cosy inside but eventually you have to go outside and get cold (even when rugged up). Or you can have a nice warm shower - but you have to get cold to get out and dressed. Or you can be nice and warm rugged up in bed - but you have to get cold when you get up.

I have bad circulation so I am susceptible to cold hands and feet. My feet can be rugged up in bed socks and slippers and still be cold. I think some of it may be due to my thyroid condition.

I have been thinking about my thyroid condition a lot after discovering this blog during #blogjune. This one bought back a lot of memories for me.

Back in 2000, not long after I had moved back to Brisbane from Emerald, I discovered a lump on my neck. It was like an Adam’s apple but to the side - and since I am female - it was all wrong. I went to the doctors to get it investigated and this started some tests.

I had been having thyroid tests for a few years leading up to this because I was a avid exerciser - I mean teaching up to 10 aerobic classes a week, cycling, doing gym work, walking/running, swimming etc and I seemed never to lose weight and always be lethargic. Ok the tiredness was not what you would normally suffer from doing all that exercise - it was more an "I don't want to get out of bed" tiredness that happened everyday.

All the thyroid tests came back "normal." So then the lump appeared. After a few tests including a fine needles aspiration - which I hope to never ever have to go through again - they worked out there were nodules growing on the right thyroid gland. The tests showed that they weren't malignant but because they were growing and would eventually impact on my breathing, the right thyroid would have to come out.

Closer to the operation, they did some blood tests and also worked out that my body was attacking my thyroid so it wasn't working properly. I often wonder if this had been going on for years and it just didn't really show itself until the lump appeared.

I won't go into detail of the removal other than to say I was really really afraid of dying - I had never been under before and because the operation was on my neck, I was sure they would cut a major blood vessel and I would bleed to death. Some said at least if I'm asleep I wouldn't know it happened.

Now apart from a faint scar and the fact I take thyroxine every day - life is back to normal. But is it!! While all my blood test show I am now in the normal range - I can't help feeling that I'm not back to normal. I exercise all the time - it doesn't make that much difference to my weight - I still feel lethargic and I still get really cold. All of these are symptoms of hypothyroidism.

I constantly wish that someone had given me a thyroid test at a time in my life when I had my ultimate energy levels and then I would know if I was "normal." Instead they base these tests on a range. I have argued this with doctors many a time and they always say it could be my lifestyle change (ie you have a child and you will be tired), or stress, or not getting enough sleep or hormones - basically they have an answer for everything and if the test says you are in the normal range then you are in the normal range and have nothing to be concerned about.

So I go on with life and hope that one day my body decides to adjust back to that ultimate range that I once had a long time ago.

There are some funny moments I can recall during this tough period of my life - that being the operation and recovery etc - one being the fact that I had staples along my neck. I told my nephew who was young at the time (he's 18 now), that if he watched me have a glass of water, the water would run out of the staples like a sprinkler! I still remember him looking with such concentration and telling me that nothing was happening!! 8-)

The other funny thing happened when I went to get the staples out - the nurse said she liked my piercing!!! I said that they were actually the staples she had to remove - go figure!!